The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck, By Mark Manson
For anyone who has spoken to me in the last month would definitely know about this book as I like to sneak it into any conversation I can … sorry (not sorry) for those who didn’t want to hear about it. I felt the need to write about the most important things I took away from the book, to not only encourage everyone to read it, but to also consolidate it in my mind.
Contrary to the title of the book, Manson wants you to ‘give a fuck’ but only about the important things in life, the things that matter.He writes that everyone naturally has to care about something, so make it important and worthwhile to you.
Manson explains your values system and, depending on what you value, can affect how successful or unsuccessful you perceive yourself to be. Choosing the right success metrics for you is vital to your self worth and life.
This book has helped me understand about taking responsibility for your life. While a lot of what happens to you in life, for example mental illness wasn’t your fault, it is still your responsibility to deal with it.
On following your dreams: that having a different dream to your currant career or life isn’t really that unique or special. This new perspective lets you give your dream a go, and helps you know it is not really that weird to want to try something new. It lets you give it a go and see what happens and to know there is nothing wrong with you for giving something new a go.
Manson explains his own law, Manson’s Law of Avoidance. “The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it”. That people will go to any lengths to protect their identity. This has helped me look at my thought patterns and how much I resist change, even when I so badly want to change.
I also learnt about ‘VCR Questions’, which are questions people ask that they pretty much already know the answer to, but somehow can’t work out how to execute and are scared of the consequences. These problems might be easier to solve then you realize.
Finally, it taught me to not take responsibility for others emotions. You can be there for them, but ultimately and the nicest thing you can do for someone you care for is to allow them to take responsibility for their own emotions and deal with them themselves.
So guys, you should go out and read the book and challenge some of the beliefs you have about yourself!
Until next time…
Stay strong and dare to be seen!
Anna 🙂 xx
If you can’t be bothered reading this post… just take a look at a favorite look of mine at the moment, the photos where taken on a recent trip to Albany.
Jumper: Lazy Oaf, Shirt: Zara, Shorts: Country Road
Photography: Sophie Stevens
Hey guys, how has your week been? Sorry about the lack of blog posts, it has been on my mind to start writing again. Although I was in Bali 2 weeks ago now and you know, Bali is for relaxing 😉 .
Hey guys, how has your week been? Mine has been okay and even if it’s not all okay I have faith that it will be soon and so will yours, that is if its not already ;).
Continue reading “Following Your Inner Guidance And The Slip Dress”
Hey guys, how are you going? Hopefully you are finding some positives to your days 🙂 . Happy Mothers Day to all of the awesome mothers out there for last Sunday.
Continue reading “Flowing Not Forcing”
Hey guys, how has your week been? Hopefully there has been some good! I have done some reflecting (as per usual 😉 ) and have been reading a book on blogging, called Blog inc, by Joy Deangdeelert Cho. It has been pretty interesting so far and really emphasizes the need to have your authentic voice come through on your blog posts. This made me realize that some of the time I wasn’t really being myself and I think I was trying to make the posts sound less like me. So I am working to change that, the blogging will be easier for me to write, shorter, more fun and great for anyone who wants to read. Basically more of my voice as how I normally speak, could be good … or could be bad haha…
Continue reading “I Now Have Pink Hair And Other Life Revelations”
Hey guys, how has your week been? Sorry about the lack of blog posts (if your reading 😉 ) I just felt frustrated at myself so thought that anything I would write would not be the best. I am really struggling with what to do next in my life, is anyone else out there feeling the same way? There are definitely many people out there with worse issues, but that’s why I want to have clear direction so I can help those in need.
I thought I would write about a book I am reading at the moment by Dr Carol S. Dweck, who has a Ph.D. in Psychology. The book is called Mindset and focuses on two different Mindsets: the Fixed Mindset and Growth Mindset. Having either of these dictates how you handle life and your approach to everything such as dealing with getting fired from a job, success, break ups and your approach to business. I hope to share some concepts I have learnt from the book so far.
What is a ‘Fixed Mindset’? According to Dr Dweck a fixed mindset is where you think everything is fixed in life. If you are not already good at something there is no way you can ever get better. Talent is praised to get you ahead and if you are not naturally talented at the task you are perusing then it must not be right for you. In this mindset challenges are feared and putting effort into anything is avoided. People with this mindset believe that if you have to practise you are not talented. If a mistake is made it is a direct insult to them. And In a relationship the person is not looking to be challenged and prefers a partner who will praise them.
The ‘Growth Mindset’ value challenging themselves and believe that traits are not fixed and with effort and handwork it is possible to achieve greatness.In a romantic relationship both partners have equal parts to play, they are looking for a partner who sees their strengths and loves them but can also see areas in their life that need work and are able to challenge the partner to work on it.The growth mindset believes that character, heart and mind make a champion and talent only has a small part to play. They have a dig down and face challenges attitude and are always looking for the potential to develop. If they have been fired form a job in the past, instead of believing that it will keep occurring in the next job, they look at the situation as an opportunity to grow and learn from their mistakes to make sure it does not happen again in the future.
This book has shown me how adopting a particular mindset can take you down completely different roads in life and yes you can change your mindset!
I am halfway through the book and I will write my conclusion when I have finished. Hopefully this was helpful for you to understand a little bit about how just changing your mindset can make so many other awesome things happen in your life.
Stay strong friends and work your way through life one step at a time.
Take care and dare to be seen.
Top: Zara/ Jeans: Lee/ Boots: Wittner/ Bag:Mimco
Hey guys, how has your week been? Mine has been okay, pretty quiet which can be a good thing (sometimes 😉 ). I watched the new Beauty and the Beast movie; surprisingly I found it to be really enjoyable! If you are in the mood to watch a movie that’s light hearted you should watch it.
Today I thought I would write a less intense blog about fashion.
During the autumn months and with Perth’s unusual weather patterns, it is the perfect time to take a look at some great basics for both women and men too see them through this time of the year. Some of these you might already own, if so then awesome! You are already on the way to looking stylish 😉 .
Good quality and well fitting black jeans.
For anyone who knows me I freaking love any type of jean, but especially black jeans for their cool and flattering abilities. These should be a wardrobe staple for everyone! A well fitting black jean will look lovely worn causally with a top or singlet but also equally as nice for a formal dinner dressed up with a button up shirt for men or a fancy singlet or shirt for women.
A White T-Shirt
Where the hell would life be without a crisp white shirt? This is a great addition to anyone’s wardrobe and because it’s so plain you can add as many accessories as you like to create your own unique look.
A leather Or Fake Leather Jacket
Leather jackets are the bomb, not only are they really comfortable they add instant style to any look and can even be worn at night time depending on the fit of the jacket. If a leather jacket is out of your price range or you are a vegetarian or vegan then fake leather jackets are still a great option and also much cheaper then real leather. Either way once you start wearing leather you will wonder why you didn’t start earlier 😉 .
A Good Quality Wallet Or Purse
Personally I think the type of wallet or purse you use says a lot about you as a person. Choose one that represents your personality and looks stylish. For women a slightly larger purse might be a good idea as you can use it as a clutch for an evening look, #winning.
A Genuine Smile
Nothing is better in my opinion then a smile 🙂 it makes people feel at ease as well as you looking friendly. Not enough people smile these days, not even me! So if you really want to look stylish this autumn you should also invest in some time at the mirror practicing smiling.
I hope this helps guys and sometimes when it comes to having great style, less is more.
I hope you like this look; my mum chose this top for me so I had to wear it.
Take care and dare to be seen.
Top: From the Blue Buddha/ Jeans: Lee/ Hat: H&M/Choker: Wild Horses
Hey guys, how has your week been? Mine has been interesting (like always) I was also quite sick during the week and my blog photos didn’t turn out that well so I thought I would just leave writing a blog last week. But don’t worry you can’t get rid of me that easily 😉 . During the last few weeks I have been pretty busy seeing friends, went to my first ever book club and helped out with a fashion show in Garden City, which was fun! Although I was also so sick I did kind of want to just curl up in a ball and sleep at the same time.
Today I thought I would talk about why I think it is way more important to prioritize your happiness then your weight when it comes to improving your health.
I am very passionate about this topic and believe that if you are able to be truly happy everything else will fall into place, including your eating and exercise. After all laughter is the best medicine. 🙂
You would not believe the amount of time clients, friends and even strangers have told me they want to lose weight (way too many times!). While it is very important to maintain a healthy weight actually focusing on losing weight might not be the best place to start. In my opinion the best place is to start feeling more happy 🙂 .
Focusing on being happy means that you will want to look after your health. The choices you make will reflect your happy mind frame so you will not feel the need to overeat on unhealthy food choices. You will also want to get out of bed an hour earlier to exercise because you know that you will feel great once you have finished. This in turn will have a positive effect on your weight.
I seriously think that being happy within yourself will have a ripple on effect in all areas of your life and that will look completely different for everyone.
I thought I would share some of my ideas on ways to improve your happiness
- Trying lots of different styles of exercise until you find one you love! Keep doing that until you find you would like to give something else a try and then do that!
- Stop listening to negative self-talk, it is literally a mind and mood killer. Remember none of it is true and you are stronger then anyone could know.
- Focus on the positives in your life, they are there you just need to see them.
- Eat healthy – pretty much everyone knows what this involves: eating more fruit and vegetables and less of the highly processed crap, this will automatically make you start feeling happier because you are consuming food that will give you increased energy and vitality.
- Have a bloody laugh! Find funny and kind people to hang out with, they would love your company.
- If you are working in an environment and or with people who you don’t like that much see if there is a way of making it better by changing your approach or maybe quitting you are a very important person. It is also important to remember those people who do like you and see the best in you; they will always be there for you.
- Smile 🙂 A challenge that I have started is to smile 5 times per day for 1 minute. It can be fake, it doesn’t matter your brain wont know the difference, although you might look strange. 😉 It’s a great mood booster. I got this idea from Tony Robbins.
- Hug a friend, hugging is a great mood enhancer and it’s always good to spread the love, right 😉
I hope this helps guys, if you are feeling down remember it will pass. Try something new and set a goal, it doesn’t have to be fancy but it is important to decide on one.
If looking at my fashion choices makes you happy then hopefully you like this look, it doesn’t involve any black!
Take care and dare to be seen.
Top:Silent Theory/Checkered top: Topshop/ Jeans: H&M/Shoes: Wittner / Earrings: Sportsgirl
Hey guys, how has your past week been? Mine has been pretty good, I watched T2 Trainspotting, in my opinion is a really well produced movie and made me think about the meaning of life. If you haven’t watched it yet go to the cinema soon, you wont regret it. I also went to a one-day course by the Australian Style Institute (ASI). I wanted to see what ASI was about and if it was a course I would like to take in the future. Lauren, who is the founder of ASI presented a great days worth of learning about the course and style. She also covered her own motivational approach to life, work and style and left us all with the words: “You can either be green and growing or red and rotting” which I think is pretty true. After talking about style for an entire day I already feel more stylish, you should definitely check ASI out if you love fashion and style.
Today I thought I would write about some of my thoughts on creativity and why you should definitely add some in your life right now! Well if your not already, that is 😉 .
For a long time I felt like being creative was a waste of time and I could be doing more productive things with my time. But actually being creative should be a part of your everyday life so you can stay happy and use different parts of your brain.
Daily life, work and study can also mean that we are often not creative because our lives are often based on topics which don’t really require you to create something more artistic. If you are feeling this way, there are always things you can do 🙂 .
Being creative often means you have to be extremely vulnerable, especially if you want to put your creative work out into the world for anyone to see. This really scared me (and still does) and is one of the reasons I did not choose a more creative career path as it can be open to a lot of rejection, which is hard to take.
But I really don’t think that should stop you, being creative means to have fun with life and what you are doing. If you love fashion and music like I do you should try to express this in anyway you think could work. I used to feel so guilty for liking to dress up and buy fancy clothes but then I realized I loved it because it’s creating visual art you can see everyday that expresses your personality – actually so cool if you ask me!
Adding more creativity can be done in so many ways, meaning anyone can do it! Some of my own ideas are:
- Dressing in a way that makes you feel happy and represents your personality
- Being creative with cooking: trying new flavor combinations and ingredients
- Learning something new, it could be anything from Yoga to how to speak Japanese
- Find new music you love and then share it with other people so they can love it too
- Learn how to play an instrument, it doesn’t have to be good but it can be fun for you
- Get more creative with your current job, there are always at least a few things you can play with to make things different
- Make some art work or go to an art gallery
- Go to a concert by a musician you love
- Travel and explore new places
These are just a few ideas. What I hope you can take from this is there are so many ways you can be creative and add a smile to your day; you just have to think outside the box a little bit.
Thanks for reading guys and hopefully you like this outfit, if in doubt just wear black 😉 .
Try something creative today and dare to be seen.
Dress: BlackMilk/ Pants: Premonition Designs/ Shoes: Wittner
Hey guys, how has your past week been? Mine has been kind of quiet and possibly too self reflective (if that’s even possible 😉 )
I thought I would write about the CPR course I attended a few weeks ago.
For anyone who has to do a yearly CPR course for their work knows it is the three hours you dread every year; feeling uncomfortable in a room full of strangers, having to find a partner that seems friendly and performing CPR correctly so you can pass, bloody hell.
For this CPR course I decided to go in with a more positive attitude and it worked. Not only was the experience kind of enjoyable and I was able to relearn how to perform CPR correctly I also started thinking: Why is it so important to know CPR? The obvious answer is to save someone’s life, which is actually pretty awesome. If you think about it, there are a lot of people out there valuing others lives, including yours and mine. This is pretty significant if you ask me and really good to remember that your life is so important.
If you are learning CPR, the intention behind it is that you potentially may use it so save someone’s life, meaning that everyone’s life is of extremely high value. Too many people, including myself often don’t really value their lives and see themselves as worthless when ultimately you only have one life and it is as valuable as anyone else’s. This means you should be doing the things your heart desires.
Knowing that your life really does have a lot of value and people are going to courses because they value your life so much should be a good reason to value yourself and those around you.
It’s great to focus on being healthy, career progression and being a good person but it is still equally important to make sure you are happy, having some fun and surrounded with the loveliest of friends who value you as a person.
And for anyone wondering how to do CPR, you should learn! It might not be the best 3 hours of your life but who knows it might come in handy one day or else you might even have some life revelations like me 😉 .
I did the course through The Royal Life Saving Society ,you should check it out if your interested (no they did not pay me to mention their name, although I wish they did) 😉 and remember its 30 chest compression’s to 2 breaths.
Value your life and those around you, even if you don’t understand – know that they are doing the best they can at this time.
I hope you like the fashion choices I made, definitely pretty street if you ask me 🙂
Take care and dare to be seen,
Top:WDA/ Shorts: Forever New/ Socks: H&M/ Shoes: Wittner
Ruffles and Reflections is a Perth based blog made for you! It tackles the big questions in life with a smile, a cute outfit and a realistic positive approach. At Ruffles and Reflections I know life is tough, working out who you are as well as how to be the best version of yourself and everything in between. I take a gentle approach to this showing you that beauty and confidence does not have to mean starving yourself to be slim.I want you to embrace life in every way and hopefully this is a tool you can use when you feel like you need a helping hand. Remember the are people out there just like you.
I review only the best products and offer easy and healthy ways to have a good life while still having some indulgences 😉 .
We want to make the world a better place by just being ourselves and letting that be a ripple effect. Most of all we just want you to be healthy and happy.
Take care and dare to be seen
Founder of Ruffles and Reflections,